Sunday, 2008 May 18: Omaha-Chicago-Warsaw

I spent a few hours at the brewery during the Sunday Brunch; today is High School Graduation Day, and lots of people had ordered kegs of root beer for their parties. Fortunately for me, most of the orders actually went out on Saturday while I was in Omaha. Unfortunately for me, Adam had figured out a system by which his kitchen guys could have handled the kegs, and I could have flown out to Copenhagen yesterday with Paris if I had known. Anyway, of the six orders that remained on Sunday, one didn't get picked up until just after we closed at 2:00pm, and two more never showed up at all.

Anyhow...I went straight from the pub to the Omaha airport, and arrived plenty early to get checked in. I even had a "glass" of Goose Island Honker's Ale at the North Hangar Bar in the B Terminal. (Their six-dollar beers are actually served in plastic cups.)

The flight to Chicago was pretty much on time. It's a good thing, too: Chicago's O'Hare Airport is a GODDAMNED CLUSTERFUCK, and if I had arrived late, I'd probably still be there. The gate where I arrived (C32) literally could not possibly be any further from the International Terminal. The signs in the B Terminal directing people to the International Terminal are completely useless and make you go around in circles. I had to ask for directions twice. You have to go downstairs, then upstairs, then up some more — the only way I found was an elevator that carried no more than four people at a time — then down again to get to the slowest train I've ever been on, then back and forth through the ticket counters until you find the airline you're looking for because there's no map to tell you which one is where. It took me FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to get from my arrival gate to the LOT desk, at least ten to get my boarding pass, and another fifteen to get through Amateur Night at the Security Line, even though there were only five people ahead of me.

I hate O'Hare. I have always hated O'Hare. If I hadn't saved five hundred bucks on the airfare, I wouldn't have flown through O'Hare. If you have a choice, don't fly through O'Hare.

Anyhow...the flight to Warsaw left pretty much on time. (I plan to submit this fact to the Vatican to certify as a Miracle.) The service on LOT Polish Airlines is courteous and efficient, if unintelligible, and the seats are reasonably comfortable. My seatmate Agnes, a Pole from Chicago returning home for the first time in twelve years, helped me with the unintelligible parts. And the cans of Żywiec were free.

Tomorrow: Warsaw-Copenhagen