Finishing last week's jobs

Ace Hardware said the tubing I ordered last week was probably on this morning's truck, but it hadn't been unloaded yet. I picked up some hose clamps anyway so I could at least get some more of the keg jumpers replaced, a job that I started last week.

The jumpers are the lines running from the kegs to the wall. The lines above those run to the bar.

I got exactly one of them done before I realized that the hose clamps I bought were one size too small. So this bagful will go back to Ace when I go pick up the tubing later.

I finally cleaned the draft lines this morning. I normally do it every two weeks, but I was hoping to coordinate the cleaning with the installation of the new jumpers this time. You've read how well that's been going.

The first step was to disassemble and clean all of the faucets. Lots of guck, mainly yeast and mold, can build up inside these things and get flushed out into the beer.

Faucet parts

Once the faucets are cleaned, reassembled, and put back in place, the lines can be cleaned. This involves filling them with a cleaning solution (usually caustic), letting them soak for fifteen or twenty minutes, rinsing them with water, then running beer through them. This pot handles the cleaning and rinsing. It's not the most effective line-cleaning method, but I don't have the budget for a proper pump right now.

Line-cleaning "pot" attached to two draft lines

Remarkably itchy caustic burns

I wheeled a five-gallon keg of Orange Cream Soda over to Crackers to Caviar, the only place in town that sells our products.

This afternoon, I'll finish replacing the tri-clamp gaskets in the brewhouse; there were four I couldn't get at last week, but I've got better tools now. Then I'll rearrange the pallets in the malt room to make space for the 6000 pounds I'm expecting from Briess any day now.

The malt room

So it's time to make a plan for the rest of this week:

• This afternoon: go back to Ace and get the rest of the jumper parts.


• Tuesday: Replace the filter main pump seals. If that goes well, then filter the new batch of All-American Gold. Scrub the beerstone out of the kettle.


• Wednesday: Run a caustic/acid/sanitizer cycle through the kettle and heat exchanger, and acid through the mash tun. Clean kegs. Fill keg orders. Run seven barrels of Root Beer from upstairs into the empty tank in the cellar.


• Thursday: Finish replacing the keg jumpers. Keg off all of the Toil & Trubbel Dubbel and clean that tank.


• Friday: Do all the stuff that will undoubtedly get postponed from earlier in the week.

Comedy of errors, and a taxing day

Well, maybe not really a "comedy", but plenty of errors.

My first clue that the day wouldn't go well was while I was performing my monthly head-shaving this morning. My clippers died one-third of the way through the job. To put it mildly, this caused something of a delay in getting to the brewery and starting the day's projects.

Once I became presentable again, I headed over to Ace Hardware to pick up the tubing that I ordered on Monday, along with some bits and pieces for some other projects. Only one roll of tubing out of the two I had ordered actually arrived, but I figured that would at least get me started on today's main job: replacing the jumpers between the kegs and the wall brackets in the cellar. These are the lines that supply CO₂ to and remove beer from the kegs. The existing ones were old and moldy and variously-sized, so replacing them will help the consistency of the beers poured at the bar.

Apart from the screwdriver, utility knife, and hose clamp edges gouging great bloody holes in my hands, which a few drops of Super Glue sealed nicely, the job went pretty well for the first four lines. That's when I realized that I had forgotten to buy any hose clamps. So the other eight lines will have to wait until Monday, when I'll get the second roll of tubing anyway.

There were some keg orders to fill, and the pub needed a few, so I filled those after lunch.

I've been running behind on my paperwork; the three invoices for this week's wholesale deliveries, plus January's taxes. Over the years, I've developed some software that help me with the taxes, but they're still a pain in the backside. Every two weeks, we submit Form 5000.24 Excise Tax Return to the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau. That's how the federal government collects their $7.00 on every barrel of beer we sell.

TTB Excise Tax Return Form 5000.24

We also submit Form 5130.9 Brewer's Report of Operations every month. It's a summary of the beer that we brewed, filtered, packaged, removed, returned, and destroyed during the reporting period. The feds actually want us to submit this form on a quarterly basis, but Nebraska's absurdly antiquated liquor laws require us to send a copy along with our monthly state returns.

TTB Brewer's Report of Operations Form 5130.9

Speaking of Nebraska's absurdly antiquated liquor laws, we file tax returns with the state every month. One submission is Form 35-7137 Sales to Nebraska Wholesalers, which lists the invoice number, wholesaler name, and number of gallons (separated by package size) for every transaction we had with an in-state wholesaler. This is a completely extraneous piece of paper, since it's got nothing to do with how much tax we pay.

Facsimile of Nebraska Form 37-7137 Sales to Nebraska Wholesalers

The real money is served up on Form 35-7127 Nebraska Craft Brewery Monthly Tax Return. Nebraska demands 30.69¢ per gallon — that's more than $9.51 per barrel — on every drop of beer that goes through the filter. Never mind the unavoidable spillage during kegging, or the beer that's left in the bottom of the tank that won't fill another keg, or beer that's returned from the trade, or beer that's destroyed due to spoilage. If it ends up in the bright beer tanks, it's taxed. And compare that tax rate — 30.69¢ per gallon — to the rate we paid in Wisconsin: $1.00 per barrel, less than 3¼¢ per gallon, and that only applied to beer that was actually sold, with credits for returned and destroyed beer. Nebraska has quietly worked its way up the list of states whose citizens endure the highest tax burden, and their liquor policies are no exception.

Facsimile of Nebraska Form 35-7127 Nebraska Craft Brewer Monthly Tax Return

My "other job" at Gottberg is Network Administrator, and I had to straighten out some misbehaving routers this afternoon. After all that, I decided it was time to call it a week; I called Paris at home and asked her if she wanted to join me for a beer, and she did.

More kegs, and delays

I was at the brewery by 8:30 this morning, filling the remaining root beer kegs for the Norfolk order. At 10:30, I drove out to the Tasty-Toppings plant in Duncan to borrow the truck, only to find that it wouldn't start in this 17°F weather. So I plugged in the heater and went back to the brewery to wait for it to warm up.

In the meantime, I called the salesman in Norfolk to tell him I'd be bringing the kegs up this afternoon. He mentioned that I had brought a couple of kegs last time that were filled with the wrong beer, and asked if I could replace them. So back into the cellar I go, to fill a couple of 1/6-barrels of All-American Gold.

Noon: Head back to Duncan to get the truck.

Before...

13:00: Get back to the brewery and start loading up kegs.

...after.

13:40: Hit the road to Norfolk.

15:40: Arrive at the brewery and unload the empties.

The empties

15:50: Head back to Duncan to return the truck.

16:10: Go home. The paperwork can wait until tomorrow.

Milk beer called 'Bilk' to go on sale in Hokkaido

I think the use of the word "succeeded" is a bit of a stretch.

NAKASHIBETSU, Hokkaido -- A brewery here has succeeded in producing a low-malt beer with milk, after the drink was suggested as a product that would help use up surplus milk.



The drink, called "Bilk" will go on sale on Feb. 1. It reportedly has a fruity flavor that its brewers hope will be popular among women.

Mainichi Daily News has the whole story.

Thanks to Melia for the link!

Ethiopia The price of beer has considerably increased

EthioBlog reports that the price of beer in Ethiopia is skyrocketing. A 30-liter keg of beer from dominant producer BGI Ethiopia that formerly sold for US$13.75 is now exorbitantly priced at $15.25, and a case of their bottled beer is now worth US$6.78, up about 75 cents.

Read the entire article at EthioBlog.

A: Draft Picks

Days That End in Y notes that Jeopardy! recently had a category of beer questions. Mike posts the answers and questions, so I won't spoil the fun. I'm embarrassed to say that I missed the $1000 answer, incorrectly guessing "Orval".

121 jobs that don't suck

I always tell people that "there are worse jobs than mine", so when I saw a link to Job Profiles' 121 jobs that don't suck, I had to take a look to see just where mine fit in. Sure enough, it's #1 on the list.

Read the full list here: 121 jobs that don't suck